Friends who suck at staying in touch

**Gnophos** · 04-15-2009, 12:22 PM

The only reason I don't rank my anger about this higher than 50 is that it makes me half-angry, half-sad. I know these people are interested in staying friends, but all they ever do is apologize whenever I ask them why they don't stay in touch. I'm introverted enough as it is without my handful of friends neglecting me. I've always been a half-step away from moving to a mountain peak somewhere, and always just manage to have enough relationships with other people to keep hanging on to civilization. I'm the kind of guy who would never leave the house if he didn't have to. Yet somehow it falls to me to ring them up on the phone or initiate e-mail contact. Which I do, although not as often as a normally sociable person would -- and I hate myself for giving in to my hikkikomori tendencies and wish I was better than that.

When I suggest more facile means for me to reach them -- e-mail in place of the phone, or IMing in place of e-mail -- they don't check their mail and they don't log on to their IM service. It's not like I'm pestering them; I haven't even spoken to my best friend in 3/4 of a year. He's having some really rough times with his health and probably depression, and as self-centered of a bastard as I usually am, this is the one guy in the world that I actually would do anything to help (which is hard with him being on the opposite side of the globe). He had mentioned he might be moving, but hasn't contacted me to tell me what's going on and I don't think he's still at his old phone number. In lieu of that, I dropped him a couple e-mails and a buddy invite in YIM, but apparently he never logs in to see them.

Damn it. Just, damn it.

**The mad hillbilly** · 04-15-2009, 07:22 PM

Maybe he said fuck it and found a new friend?
This sort of shit happens all the time.

**Gnophos** · 04-15-2009, 11:59 PM

Ha ha, nice response, thanks for the sympathy. No, neither of us are the sort of person to find a new best friend as we are both rather hermit-like and had a very strong bond when we lived near each other. I do wish he would find new friends (albeit not a new best friend), but his health severely limits him from doing so. As I said, I think it's depression over his situation that is the issue.

But that's just the one friend -- my rant was about this kind of thing in general. The other friend I see all the time -- we just don't have much time to catch up, so I try to encourage him to use IMs, but he can't get his act together.

**The mad hillbilly** · 04-16-2009, 06:25 AM

Maybe he dose'nt understand how bad you want to keep in touch.
I've had passive friends like that, They just don't take the friendship as
serious as i did, Could be that.