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For twelve years I loved, supported and cared for my husband. He wanted a pub business. We bought one. We lost all our money and now I'm paying off the house I once owned outright. He never accepted any responsibility for that. He would tell you I'm an angry bitch and that's the problem. That's why he's always around the corner drinking beer with the neighbour while I raise our four children who are all ten and under. I work full time and he doesn't lift a finger to help me although I ask him. I just get yelled at for asking.
Of course I'm an angry bitch. For a start I'm a Cronulla Sharks supporter and as if that's not enough to piss anyone well and truly off, I don't know what is.
He was always perpetually angry and still is. I actually think he's depressed. I call him "Planet D-----" (I won't use his name) He's the only one who's important. Oh and his side of the family come second. They're the blood and I'm the water. His sister recently had a back operation and everyone rallied. It's nice of them, but a few years ago when I'd had an operation I got not such interest. I had to drive myself to the hospital because he'd been drinking. When I returned home with a newborn baby, he took on extra shifts at work to cover for a co-worker who'd had cosmetic surgery on her boobs and was feeling sore. I come last after his job, the neighbour, our kids, and the dogs.
He wanted a dog. I didn't. We got a dog. I asked that if we must have one, could it be a small dog? We got a Labrador. We now have three of them out there making more shit than they eat. He doesn't walk them or clean-up after them and feed them regularly.
He swears at the children and threatens them. He would be late home for dinner because he was around the corner drinking at the neighbour's house. I'd make him meals which he couldn't be bothered eating.
Our house isa mess of all his shit...old vehicles, junk, collections.
When he was unemployed (he was sacked for being a prick to the customers) he came into some money. Did he put it into the family budget? Noooo. He brought a big TV off a public advertising board at woolies. Someone else's unwanted shit. We already had too many TV's.
He made minimal financial contributions to the house most of the time. When I was on materlity leave and he was supporting us, it was somehow my fault that I hadn't produced kids who didn't need to eat.
Anyway, I could go one for ever. I think what really bothered him was that I asked him be at home more that 1 hour a day that the kids were awake. He had the choice. He chose not to.
Silly sensitive thing that I am, I also stood up for the kids when he was calling them fucking cunts.
So instead of facing the fact that he drinks too much, making himself tired and angry all the time and doesn't have the spending money that he wants, he leaves.
Then last weekend, he begged me to go to a party with him. I went. He went on about how he was going to fix things and shave off his moustache for me (I hate them and he grew it last year). If I let him come over he'd make us anice breakfast. So he came over. Stupidly I went to bed with him (I really want to put our family back together) just to please him. Then he got up in the morning and left.
I called him and told him how much he'd upset me. He asked if I wanted to watch football with him on Friday. I agreed, hoping we could talk. Well that didn't happen. Because I was on class all day and wasn't able to be at his beck and call when he rang me, he decided to punish me by pulling the pin on that.
So why on Earth am I crying? I should be glad to be rid of him.
It's my children and what they are losing. That's why I put up with it for so long. I'm an optimist. I always hoped that things would change and we'd be happy again. He would occasionally do things to get my hopes up too.
So I'm angry? You bet. I'm angry at myself for not kicking him out years ago. But I wouln't have my younger children either. I hate myself and I can't even put myself out of my misery because my kinds need me now more than ever.
Bye.
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Originally Posted by castoff 
Mind and body are supposed to work together.
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