Need advice

[Anonymous Confessor]

I've recently fallen for a girl at my local ... erm... book shop.

Anyway, she never seemed to notice me, but I know everything about her, and I mean everything. Like, last christmas I got these night vision goggles so I could sit in the tree at the end of her garden and watch her through her bedroom window. Not in a creepy way or anything, but to watch over her.

Well the other night she left her back door open (I mean the actual back door to the house, not a euphamism or anything) when she went to bed.

I seized my chance, and went into the house to check every room for burglars. I had to take all my clothes off in the kitchen because it had been raining and they were all wet from the 5 hours sat up the tree.

She looked angelic, fast asleep in the safety of her own home, and it had quite an effect on me. My heart was racing and my pee-pee was standing proudly to attention.

I used her phone to take a photo of me lay on the bed next to her and sent it to my phone. Then, I saved my number in her phone and assigned the photo to my number as well as setting 'Endless Love' as the custom ringtone (Downloaded to her phone on her bill of course, I'm not made of money).

Happy that no burglars were coming for her, I returned home, where I stared at the picture until I had a little sex wee in my pyjama bottoms.

Now she won't even talk to me when I turn up unannounced at her place of work and try talking to her.

Is she mental?

[Archer]

An "anonymous" post.
I wonder who this is....?!?!



Any guesses, Archer?

I hope you're not inferring I had anything to do with it. I got my night vision goggles for my birthday, not Christmas.

[Archer]

This "anonymous confessor" just happens to have posted this when you were logged on and just happens to use the same terminology as you.

Erm.....

Actually, I just looked at the times and I'd been logged off for about 20 minutes.