That'll teach you

[Anonymous Confessor]

I got arrested when I was 15-16 years old. I was handcuffed in the back of the car and decided to start mouthing off to the cop: "You ain't so tough, you fat sonofabitch. Pull this motherfucker over, take off my cuffs and your gun and I'll beat your ass."
The cop pretty much ignored me for awhile until he had enough of my bullshit, then said "Son, I can fuck you up without even getting out of this car."
Mouthy Me: "Yeah? Well, do it then, Asshole!"
He did. He hit the brakes, throwing me face first into the screen separating the back seat from the front seat, bloodying my nose and giving me a fat lip.
"Fucker! What the hell.... I'll have your ass for that!" I sputtered.
He just laughed. "What, you didn't see that dog that ran out in front of the car?"
I shut up.

[jackmcdonald5]

Sounds like yo ass got pwnd!!!

I'm sick of police here,

At Fireworks Night (Guy Fawkes Night) a whole group of us went down to watch the display. Theres always loads of people and it's good for a laugh.
Anyhow, a big fight broke out between 4 or 5 girls there, i think it was over hair extensions!
We were just innocently watching them beat each other with a casual shout of "Rip her shirt like you mean it woman!" when we were completely thrust aside by big policemen in full uniform.
We watched it all get broken up and began chatting again when one of the officers came over and told us to "Move on from here".

All i did was ask why and he total grabbed my top and pulled me to the side, so i grabbed his arm and shoved him off me.
I know now this is not the systematic nor logical move to make when dealing with enforcers of the law..
He went absolutely mental and started speaking bullshit about putting me in the cells for a night and fining me and stuff.
I told him to "Fuck off"....Again probably the wrong move..
He then proceeded to stand on my shoes and tell me to move on.

Clearly looking for me to push him again.
So i played it cool and said "I believe you are standing on my shoes officer" (or something in that manner).

I managed to get away after like 10 minutes of him massaging his cop ego.

Disgusting.

XxX

[Turnip]

Op
Goddamn, that cop is awesome!

[lorricall]

Now THAT'S some funny stuff!!! ROTFLMAO!